Celebrating what Dad has given us
Father's Day is one of my favorite
days of the year. The day is special because it's about so much more than being
a dad, than about getting the cool gifts the boys may make, or being served
coffee in bed and hanging out with the guys watching some Sunday marathon on
TV. Certainly, my children – my sons – are at the very heart of it,
but not for the reasons you might think.
The relevance seems more so this year because in recent weeks
family members, friends, and colleagues have lost their dads. And this will be
their first Father's Day afterwards. My own father died in late April many years ago, less than
two months after my wife and I married. Even then, on that first Father's Day without
Dad around, I figured out that I hadn't lost him. But now it's so much more
apparent.
In the beginning, my brothers and I
would all point out "dadisms" in each other. One of us would do or say
something in a manner Dad used to. That's when I got it. And it was reinforced
so much more when my sons were born. Pieces of us continue – even beyond
the simple genes.
For example, my youngest has a
hearing loss in one ear. He never met my dad but when he is on the phone, he
often holds the receiver exactly the way my dad used to – and my dad had
a hearing loss. Now as I get older and my hearing muffles a bit, I too find
myself holding phone receivers at a slightly off angle to help clear the sound.
It makes me smile when I see my son doing it or I catch myself.
However, my oldest is probably the
most pronounced. When he is mad, he looks just like Dad – his rigid composure,
his stern facial expressions, and his stubbornness. When we disagree, his
expressions and inflections sometimes remind me of times when Dad and I argued.
He also has a similar chuckle and Dad's ears.
Then there is my middle boy. He is
a bit turned inward as Dad could be sometimes. He thinks about things, even
brooding, but doesn't necessarily share what's on his mind.
Men have a tendency to measure
themselves by their fathers – wanting to either be like them or wholly
different. So finding those traits within or from your children is up to individual
opinion on whether they are good or bad. The trick is knowing how to embrace
those traits and make them positive, or just laughing at them. Either way, one
thing is clear, our fathers live on in us – we never really lose them.
That's the father's gift to his son – and one worth celebrating.
Copyright 2009 by David Falloure
